Cancer - No taboos attached, Please!

Quoting, John Green, from The Fault in Our Stars

 "The world wasn't made for us, we were made for the world!"

I lost my father to the “big C”. Gall bladder cancer to be precise. 29Nov2012- what started as usual day,  made history.

My father was always a very cautious and disciplined person when it came to health. And I can say that without any second thoughts- despite being  70 yrs old, he did all his chores by himself. Absolutely “NO" help required. He had a sharp memory. In fact in certain domains- I was so much dependent on him, that I am yet to learn how to deal with them by myself. He looked perfectly healthy and fit. He never showed any symptoms until the day doctor told us.

30 Nov 2012, when I first came to know about cancer - I didn’t know how to react!

Struggling with myself, my major concern was how will papa react? How do I break the news to other family members - and what would their reactions be and how to deal with them. 

Inspite of so much being written and said about cancer, it still remains a taboo- mostly because of  ignorance about the disease and the social stigma attached to it. Both for the patients and people around them.

For the patients:
When a person is detected with cancer, lot of emotions conflict at the same time. Fear, anger, anxiety, shock, sadness, grief, depression and much more. As in it is hard for anyone to accept that they have cancer but it becomes more difficult because of the various “myths” people have about the disease.

At times people feel guilty as they may have done something wrong, as a result of which they got cancer. They feel like they’ve done some thing disgraceful. 

There are times when they feel "what people will think about them”. For fear of social isolation, they will hide their illness .

Some of the particular cases when people have hidden their illness and lost the crucial time and eventually their lives are

Women suffering from breast cancer, fear that after surgery they will not look - beautiful. They will be “left alone”, by their spouses and even their closest friends.

Men suffering from prostate, testicular and colorectal cancers find it difficult to talk to their spouses for fear of being judged.

Our society is very discreet, when a person dies -they attend the funeral but when the person actually needs them they maintain a convenient distance for “their” self justified beliefs like-Cancer is contagious and they are concerned for their own well being.

Financial concerns - with cancer comes, great financial burden. Usually people want to stay away to avoid any financial obligation.

In my father’s 11 months tryst with cancer, I learnt so many things, one of which was being always “positive” even when nothing seemed to work out. I kept on reminding myself, my father should never leave ‘Hope’ -that  kept him strong throughout his fight with cancer.

Cancer does harm physically, but the harm it causes emotionally is much more deep rooted. Few kind words from you will only help. Is being kind so difficult??
They don’t need your sympathy. Just few minutes of your day will do what no medicine can do- if they have to go, they will, but don’t make them feel sorry for being alive.

Talk to them, be with them!

Author: Jyotsna Verma

A daughter to a brave Yoddha and now a supporter to all fighting against Cancer. We at Team Yoddhas thank you for your constant support.
You can get more information and specially on Gall Bladder Cancer here http://paininmyveins.blogspot.jp/

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https://www.facebook.com/groups/yoddhathewarrior/